I woke up this morning with a headache and I felt sick. I was dehydrated. I looked to the floor, next to my bed where Bambi usually hung out, and I burst into tears again. A friend said that for the first 2 years, she would cry whenever thoughts of her deceased pet came to mind.
For non-pet owners or those who have yet to experience a pet’s passing, it may seem unusual to be grieving this much for an animal. It surprises me too, the depth of grief and the intense sense of loss I have over Bambi’s passing. Any mental preparation I had done before her leaving didn’t make this process easier. After all, she was old and she was sick, I had thought we were ready for this day. Seemingly, what I am going through is normal especially when the owner had made a decision to end the pet’s life through euthanasia. I am trying to come to terms that she is no longer here.
We hear her tho. Is this after-death communication or is it in our minds? After we went to bed last night, I heard the familiar pitter-patter in my bedroom. KL said he heard meowing in the house, on few occasions, after her passing.
After we returned from the vet yesterday, I met my neighbour along the corridor who offered me a plant stem. No, he doesn’t know what I am going through despite my red puffy eyes. I replanted the stem in Bambi’s drinking bowl (she had many but this plastic container was her favorite in her last days) and I am calling this the Bambi plant. The occasion and offering could not be more apt which makes me wonder if this is more than mere coincidence. Maybe, just maybe, Bambi has returned as a flower angel?
To friends who have offered us their condolences, thank you. Writing brings me some solace and considering what I am going through now, the next few pieces I put up may give a feeling of despondency. But don’t worry, I’ll be alright. I am drinking lots of water, eating normally and feeling well now.