28.02.18. The inevitable has arrived and the day we all dreaded.
Today, Bambi left us to cross the rainbow bridge.
I am weeping buckets as I write this and I can’t stop crying. Bambi was a big part of me and the family. For the past 12 years, she was my loyal companion, always there with me when I am home and now, she’s not around anymore. Home is not the same without her.
In the last couple of days, she spiralled downhill. Incontinence came first, then she lost her strength and suffered dehydration. Yesterday, she lost her voice, looked feeble, hardly ate nor moved much and I caught her looking blankly at the walls. Clearly she was unwell and suffering. Emotionally, we were not ready to let her go which made this a very tough call for KL and I. However, we were unanimous in our thoughts that at the super age of 20 with failing kidneys, hyperthyroid and a swelling tumour on her back, she was only going to suffer more as the day passes.
She must have had an inkling of what is to come. At 10 am today, she slept under our bed, something she hasn’t done in a while, while I waited for KL to pick us up. I decided against using the carrier that she so disliked. Instead, I wrapped her snugly in towels and cradled her like a baby on the ride to the clinic. It was our moment together before the final farewell and I am grateful for that. Under normal circumstances, she would have put up a struggle when we got out of the house but this time, she was quiet and seem contented to be in my arms. Oh, she peed on me, perhaps it’s her way of saying goodbye and leaving her mark on me.
I (wish to) think Bambi was ready to go because she was unusually quiet and laid very still on the vet’s table while preparations were underway. At 11.15 am, nice Dr Ng put Bambi to sleep putting an end to her suffering. She passed away peacefully, gazing at us, seconds after the shot was administered, in her favorite yellow towel, without a struggle nor did she gasped for air, a common phenomenon that the vet had warned us about. I am thankful that she did not suffer much in her passing and her 2 favorite humans were present to send her off (I had always feared that she would go without saying goodbye and it would have been a huge regret in my life.)
Together with Bambi, we have had many pleasant memories and I thank our lucky stars that she came into our lives (thanks to mummy Sylvia). She was a really really good cat and an amazing companion, beautiful too with her doleful eyes. Yes, she had her moments like being finicky about food sometimes, bit (us in her younger days) when we touched her in a way she disliked, made us run in circles during bath time, chewed on anything that is made of plastic sheets or ignored us after our travel trips. But that’s Bambi and we love her all the same.
It’s a very very sad day for KL and I but we take comfort in thinking that Bambi had a good life and a long one too. I miss her and the pitter patter sound of her walking. It will be different without her and I am sad. Heartbroken sad.
Love you Bambi, very very much.